SAPER SCEGLIERE
quando essere multipotenziale diventa una maledizione

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La domanda è semplice, ma la risposta non è così scontata.

Come gestisci le scelte?

Scegli quando sei in tempo o procrastini finché la scelta non diventa inevitabile?

Finché non sei più tu a scegliere ma è la vita che sceglie per te?

Il fatto di essere Multipods non ci redime dal dover fare delle scelte.

Eppure se c’è una cosa che è particolarmente difficile per un multipotenziale è scegliere.

Per questo motivo ho deciso di aiutarti.

Questa è la prima parte della guida “Saper Scegliere” perciò vorrei iniziare raccontandoti perché prendere decisioni è così difficile per noi multipotenziali e, soprattutto, perché dovresti iniziare a farlo.

Seguirà un articolo più “pratico” che ti consiglio di leggere dopo questo:

  • Nell’articolo “Il metodo multipotenziale per scegliere senza andare in crisi” ti parlerò di cos’è il metodo multipotenziale e come metterlo in pratica da subito per iniziare prendere decisioni;

Partiamo allora, lo so che sei curioso.

Sei pronto?

Perfetto! Iniziamo! 🙂

Perché scegliere è più difficile per un multipotenziale

Siamo multipotenziali: vogliamo fare tutto!

Per questo scegliere è così difficile.

Siamo esposti ad una marea di stimoli e se per gli uni-potenziali questo non è un grosso problema, per noi significa essere incuriositi da tutto.

Sì, è sicuramente un vantaggio.

Uno dei nostri superpoteri è quello di riuscire a trarre informazioni da questi stimoli che sappiamo sintetizzare in idee innovative e brillanti (abbiamo anche altri superpoteri, leggi la guida sui “super poteri dei multipotenziali”).

C’è un altro lato della medaglia.

Come tutti gli esseri umani le nostre giornate sono di 24 ore.

Il tempo è una risorsa limitata e, per quanto alcuni di noi siano capaci di gestire più progetti contemporaneamente (Multipods-Multitasking – se non sai di cosa sto parlando vai al test), comunque ad un certo punto dobbiamo dire no a qualcosa.

Scegliere, infatti, significa dover rinunciare a qualcosa e per noi, che tutto ci appassiona e incuriosisce e cerchiamo un modo per incastrare i nostri milioni di interessi e i nostri multipotenziali, rinunciare è particolarmente difficile.

L’importanza di scegliere

Sarebbe sicuramente più facile non scegliere, non prendere decisioni, andare a braccio.

Sì, può essere una soluzione.

Ma cosa implica?

Decidere di non scegliere significa lasciare il comando a qualcun altro.

Pensiamo ad una situazione quotidiana: ci sono un ragazzo ed una ragazza che devono uscire per la prima volta a cena.

Lui le chiede: “Dove ti piacerebbe andare?

Lei risponde: “Mi affido a te” o peggio “sorprendimi“.

Ah, come sono sopravvalutate le sorprese!!!

Lui in panico perché vorrebbe qualche indizio, vorrebbe fare una bella figura e portare lei in un posto che potrebbe piacerle.

In realtà la ragazza vuole sapere se lui l’ha riconosciuta, se ha capito chi è o cosa le piace.

Ma questo è davvero possibile?

Se è la prima volta che escono a cena probabilmente non si conoscono molto bene: il ragazzo tenderà a scegliere il posto che per lui risulta essere il migliore o pensa possa essere il migliore per lei (sempre tra il suo ventaglio di conoscenze, che però sono filtrate da quello che lui preferisce)

Risultato: nessuno dei due vuole scegliere e il primo appuntamento sarà un disastro.

Ti sei riconosciuto, vero?

Che tu sia il ragazzo o la ragazza, va sempre più o meno così.

E se la ragazza avesse invece detto: “Mi andrebbe un sushi stasera”- per tutti coloro che leggono questo post e mi vogliono chiedere di uscire, ecco il mio indizio, sorprendetemi con un sushi! 😀 -, quanto sarebbe stato più facile.

La ragazza avrebbe avuto quello che voleva e il ragazzo non avrebbe rischiato una brutta figura.

Tutto questo semplicemente scegliendo e prendendo posizione.

L’esempio è banale, ma rende bene l’idea:

Sei davvero disposto a far scegliere ad altri cosa è importante nella tua vita solo perché sei troppo occupato a pensare di voler far tutto?

Sbagliando si impara

 “L’uomo mi ha sorpreso molto nel suo essere umano.

Perché sacrifica la salute per accumulare denaro.

Poi sacrifica il denaro per recuperare la salute.

E poi è così in ansia per il futuro che non si gode il presente;

con il risultato che non vive né nel presente né nel futuro; vive come se non dovesse mai morire, e poi muore non avendo mai davvero vissuto.”

 JAMES J. LACHARD, Interview with God

Si dice che il metodo migliore per imparare sia provare, sbagliare e correggere i propri errori.

Come multipotenziali siamo bravi a procedere in questo modo perché siamo abituati a commettere errori: iniziando sempre nuove avventure è più semplice incappare in errori proprio perché accettiamo il rischio di provare.

Vuoi sapere la verità?

Non è così automatico correggere i propri errori.

Non sempre si capisce dove sia l’errore e certe cose continuino a susseguirsi come uno schema infinito.

Personalmente ho sbagliato tanto.

E no…non sono perfetta neanche io – anche se la cosa ancora mi sorprende 😛 – .

In realtà non sono mai stata brava a prendere decisioni e non lo sono tutt’ora.

So cosa stai pensando.

“Sonia ma se non sai decidere neanche tu siamo in bel casino: che cavolo ci puoi insegnare???”

Ho una bella notizia per te.

Non sono ancora brava, ma ho capito dov’è l’errore e sto provando a correggerlo.

La citazione con cui è iniziato questo paragrafo rappresenta molto bene com’era la mia vita prima di accettare di essere multipotenziale.

Vivevo nel passato e nel futuro

Vivevo di ciò che era e non è più e di ciò che volevo e non potevo.

Vivevo nell’attesa, nel “un giorno arriverà”, “un giorno raggiungerò questo obiettivo”.

Vivevo nel “solo allora sarò felice”.

Poi l’obiettivo cambiava anche prima che l’avessi raggiunto perché non sceglievo veramente di voler fare qualcosa, piuttosto lasciavo la scelta alla vita, alle aspettative e ai giudizi degli altri, a “questo è per te, questo lo puoi fare e questo no”.

La differenza fra futuro e avvenire

L’avvenire è ciò che ti capita, mentre il futuro quello che costruisci volontariamente.

Ecco, ho sempre vissuto di avvenire.

Pazzesco vero? Succede la stessa cosa anche a te?

Lo sapevo. E sai perché non hai mai pensato che fosse un problema?

Da multipotenziale questo schema è più difficile da individuare.

Qualsiasi cosa ti dicano sia più giusto fare all’inizio sembra la scoperta più bella del mondo, sembra quello che stavi cercando da una vita…finché non è più così, finché il brivido sparisce e le farfalle nello stomaco sono stanche di volare.

Come ho fatto a rompere questo schema?

Ad un certo punto ho dovuto fermarmi.

Ho dovuto iniziare a scegliere perché non potevo (fisicamente e psicologicamente) fare tutto.

E per quanto questa situazione mi abbia provocato una sensazione continua di claustrofobia, mi ha insegnato qualcosa di importante.

Anche noi multipotenziali dobbiamo imparare a scegliere.

Imparare a gestire le scelte: il metodo multipotenziale

Perché ti dico tutto questo?

Non è stato divertente imparare questa lezione. Non lo è stato per niente.

Spesso la vita, l’universo, la tua mente, Dio – chiamalo come vuoi – ha davvero modi duri per insegnare qualcosa.

Vorrei che per te fosse più facile, vorrei che almeno tu avessi un metodo…

Il metodo multipotenziale!

Per non annoiarmi nello scegliere ho infatti ideato il mio metodo, il metodo multipotenziale per l’appunto, che si compone di una serie di tecniche per prendere decisioni diverse tra loro: questo mi ha aiutato a non soffocare per la claustrofobia che mi provoca scegliere.

So che stai pensando: “allora io posso ideare il mio”.

Esatto!!! è per questo che esiste il metodo multipotenziale!

Mi spiego meglio, avanti seguimi.

Ti ho raccontato che c’è un motivo per cui questo sito è nato: sono multipotenziale anche io! 

Mi imbatto spesso in articoli e guide di coach anche molto bravi, che hanno cambiato la vita a migliaia di persone, che professano strategie come dogmi.

Sono stata anche io una di quelle che all’ennesimo “metodo per…bla bla bla” ha iniziato a pensare: “cavolo, allora non c’è proprio niente da fare con me”.

Poi ho capito che i metodi coi multipotenziali non funzionano, non come funzionano per tutti gli altri.

Perciò lungi da me proporti un “metodo” vero e proprio, una to do list infinita di cose che devi fare per poter iniziare a scegliere.

Quello che realmente ci sarà nel prossimo articolo è una lista di tecniche mie o apprese in uno dei tanti corsi di crescita personale seguiti negli ultimi dieci anni che in qualche modo ho utilizzato.

Te li racconterò tutti, ti racconterò i pro e i contro di ogni metodo, ti racconterò se per me sono stati più o meno utili.

Ti chiederò anche di aggiungere nei commenti o nella nostra community di aggiungere quelli che sono stati efficaci per te, così da condividerli con tutta la Multipods Family (è a questo che servono le famiglie, no?)

Poi ti darò del tempo per metterli in pratica come preferisci tu per trovato un “tuo” metodo multipotenziale.

Vuoi sapere perché non voglio che tu applichi esattamente ciò che ti consiglio?

Lo so, sembra che mi sto dando la zappa sui piedi da sola.

Adesso ti spiego!

Credo fortemente alla libertà, perciò vorrei che ti sentissi libero di dirmi cosa ne pensi e come hai messo in pratica il “tuo” metodo e che risultati ti ha dato.

Questo significa crescere: informarsi, provare e confrontarsi.

E io non vedo l’ora di crescere con te, di crescere con tutti voi che fate parte della grande Multipods Family.

Come? Non sei ancora uno dei nostri?

Se non ti sei ancora iscritto all’unico gruppo in Italia di Multipotenziali, che aspetti?

Compila il form qui sotto e per entrare nel gruppo più figo e divertente di Facebook.

Va bene, me la sto un po’ tirando!

Ma ti consiglio di esserci davvero!

Benvenuto fra noi, benvenuto nella Multipods Family!

Ci becchiamo dall’altro lato.

Un abbraccio,

Sonia XO

P.S. Non dimenticarti di leggere il prossimo articolo, lo troverai presto a questo link o te lo invierò per email.

Mi raccomando assicurati che le mail ti arrivino nella casella principale così non perderai nessuna delle grandiose novità che ho riservato per te.

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